Stoya taps Kimberly Kane for brothel advice on SLATE.COM
Dear How to Do It,
While talking about a trip to Nevada with my girlfriend, I jokingly asked if we could make a stop at a brothel. She said that it was fine, and seemed OK when I asked again seriously, as long as I did it solo. I plan on talking to my girlfriend more about it to make sure we’re on the same page. But I can’t really find much information about going about the whole business, with or without her. What should I expect when visiting a brothel, and how would I even act? I’ve tried looking for answers online, but I can’t find much information.
—Brothel Questions
Dear Brothel Questions,
It is a good idea to check in with your girlfriend again about this, but to answer your actual question, I reached out directly to the source: pornographer and Nevada brothel worker Kimberly Kane. She had a lot of useful stuff to say. “Honestly, you’re not alone,” she wrote in response to your question. “There isn’t a ton of information about brothel etiquette online.”
Here is her advice, edited slightly:
You say you’re taking a trip to Nevada—are you driving or flying? Keep in mind that brothels are in rural or unincorporated areas because of the brothel zoning laws. You’ll need to drive to the brothel or ask the brothel if they have a car service. If possible, drive yourself. Some brothels offer clients complimentary pickup and drop-off but will tack on a high percentage to the total amount of your visit, making it more expensive. I work at the Bunny Ranch, where rides are 100 percent free of charge (but ALWAYS tip the driver).
When planning a trip to a brothel, it’s best to start your research on the brothel’s website. There is always a robust FAQ page that can answer a lot of your questions about safety and legality. You can also browse the courtesans’ profiles to see which lady would be a good match for you. All brothels are open 24/7, and there’s always someone available to answer questions and take bookings.
Pro tip: When emailing a courtesan, be courteous and professional. Give your name, available dates and times, a brief (nonvulgar) description of the party you’d like to have, and your ballpark budget. I always say, pretend you’re writing your chiropractor instead of a sexy lady. If you send an unprofessional email, you will most likely not get a good response or any response at all.
Even though courtesans are licensed and legal in parts of Nevada, they can’t solicit sex online. Every courtesan has her own rates, and if you’re nice, prices are negotiable in-house. Keep in mind that whatever your budget is, the house takes half, so be conscious of that when budgeting your trip.
Kane wrote that “a brothel is like Disneyland for your genitals, and that level of service should be highly valued.” She considered the lowest tier of services as “south of four figures,” and if that’s your budget, she said, “I suggest being genuinely kind to the ladies. Nice guys finish first in a brothel.” The options increase in price from there: In the mid–four digits, you might get to plan “a bespoke experience with the special lady of your choice.”
It doesn’t sound like your girlfriend has any interest in joining you, but if that changes, Kane also wrote, “Honestly, if you and your partner want to experience a three-way without the headache of navigating it in your community, I highly suggest seeing a courtesan. The most important thing for couples to know when visiting a brothel is to BE ON THE SAME PAGE WITH YOUR PARTNER. If one of you doesn’t want to be there, it shows, and it’s going to be a long, awkward ride back into town.”
UPDATE: APRIL 10, 2020 - Kimberly Kane no longer works at the Bunny Ranch. Please contact for more details.
