A dive into the misconceptions of pornography by Kimberly Kane
This subject is incredibly important since the rise of free porn on the internet and the fact that anyone of any age can view hardcore pornography. I am just old enough that I didn’t grow up with free porn. When I was young, all porn sites were paywalled. Meaning you wouldn’t see much without throwing down a credit card for a website membership which was around $60 a month.
I remember porn tapes being as valuable as gold. If you had a really good porn tape you could trade it like currency. This might sound unbelievable to folks but the first time I ever saw a DP (double penetration) scene on video, I was 18 and I did not believe it was humanly possible, I thought it was some fancy camera angle trick.
Now a days seeing a DP is one of the least shocking sex acts you can see on the Internet. We have an entire generation that has grown up being able to access hardcore pornography for free and the concept of paywalls to view porn is simply abstract. My question is at what cost is the free porn generation really paying on a psychological level?
I am not a psychologist, I’m a pornographer/sex worker and I’m out here in the world talking to “generation tubesite” and they tell me sex gives them anxiety. They have watched thousands of hours of porn and instead of it making them feel confident they feel inadequate. They think their penis’ aren’t big enough, if their partners aren’t screaming and squirting during sex they think they’re doing something wrong. There isn’t a lot of foreplay in porn so this very important aspect of intimacy is sometimes skipped over entirely. Because of the lack of access to sex education young people are watching porn to learn about sex. Which is about as warped as looking to social media to learn about inner happiness. Porn is entertainment not educational material.
The best way I can simply explain porn sex vs. real sex is by asking this question, “Do you believe the Superman movies are real? Do you believe Superman is flying around fighting crime? Of course you don’t! We can give superhero movies a suspension of disbelief. Now, try lending the same suspension of disbelief when watching porn.
Porn is a performance. The bigger the dick, the louder the screams, the more effortless position changes the better! Porn performers are simultaneously thinking about lights, body position and our next move. You’re also trying to convey connection and realism for the audience. If the scene is executed well the sex will seem easy but I assure you it is not. A great porn performance is a physical and artistic craft. It should also be noted that there are also camera operators and crew whos experience lends to the creation of great pornography, just like mainstream hollywood movies.
I personally do not have porn style sex at home. In order for me to be in the zone I need to calm my mind, focus on my partner and be in the moment. I want to genuinely please my partner and I want reciprocation in an honest and connected way. Sometimes my real sex is quiet and passionate, giggly and cute or sexually dominate and perverted. Another difference in my real sex is something not often seen in porn. I always incorporate my Doxy vibrator to reach orgasm because I do not climax from penetration alone.
If you take anything away from my post understand that pornstars are not always having crazy sex off camera. Lend some disbelief to the performance as physical acting and find comfort in the fact that even pornstars are having lazy, cuddle sex just like anyone else. Appreciate porn for what it is, entertainment like your favorite superhero movies!
Twitter: @KimberlyKane &